A Really Terrible Diet – Foil Arms and Hog


Hey man! Oh hey? Started a new diet! Again? You’re always talking about being on some sort of diet arent you? Well that’s what being on a diet is all about Jim What? The biggest part of being on a diet is talking about the diet. You know you can burn over 300 calories just banging on about it endlessly. So what kind of foods are you ruling out? Ah, dunno. You don’t know? The diet isn’t really about food Jim It’s exactly about the food. Yeah well what would you know!! Oh, wow calm down! Oh no, no, getting angry at at unsupportive loved ones is a huge part of dieting Arguing defensively can burn over 300 calories Lashing out at meal times 400… I mean you’d be amazed at how many calories you can burn by shouting at your partner in a restaurant: “LEAVE ME ALONE I CAN ORDER WHAT I WANT!” So… This diet is basically everything that people do on diets anyway? And it really works. Other things that help you lose weight are: Ordering a nutri bullet and then never using it, writing pointlessly in a food diary, Oh and walking past a Burger King every day going “Ahhhhh” Sounds like a pretty easy diet No its a very difficult regime. Each morning I wake up and I sort through all the clothes that havent fit me since I was in the scouts. The around lunchtime I weigh myself for like the 9th time. And then in the evenings I just spend looking at Instragram photos of people who are in better shape than me Self Loathing is a real pound shifter Ah… Jesus. Oh and I joined a gym We can go together! Oh I’m not going to go! Excuse me? Joining a gym and then never going, is a great way to lose weight. The anxiety of the monthly extortionate fees going to waste is a great fat burner You’re not going to lose any weight that way! Ahhh what was I thinking! *Cries* Oh no, dont cry! No, crying is a huge part of dieting Jim, weeping at your lack of progress can burn over 250 calories! You’d be amazed at the fat content of tears. Isn’t the point of a diet to rule out certain foods?! Maybe, but I just eat what I want, when I want, all the time. Guilt is a huge metaboliser. You know what? It’s 5′ o clock, I’m going for pints. Ah yeah… Rub it in. Enjoy your pints. Jealousy? 350 calories Oh. Hey we’re FAH, thanks for watching, Hey, how are you? We’ve a new video every Thursday on the internet.. Cross platforms. Come see our– Social media! Social media! Come see our live show as well Our Irish tour is now on sale and you can find the details on the website its the perfect Halloween present. That’s a stretch. the shops are going with it so… Eh….. DooomDAHHH Halloween Present!

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