Black Women Discuss Interracial Dating | Black Women OWN the Conversation | Oprah Winfrey Network


How many of you have
dated outside of your race? How many of you would be willing
to date outside of your race? How many of you are not willing
to date outside of your race? All right, well, Serena
Williams, Eve, Rihanna, have all found love
across the racial divide. More and more black
women, of course, seem to be willing to
follow in their footsteps. Winnie Harlow, should black
women date outside their race? Black women and
all women should date whoever they want to date. [APPLAUSE] I was raised in a home
by a single black woman. My mom and my father,
my whole life, have had an amazing
relationship. They raised me
separately but cordially. In this time of my
mom being single, I’ve obviously met a
lot of her boyfriends. And they were multiracial. She dated black guys. She dated white guys. So I think for me,
it was something that I was taught that, I mean,
all– all people are equal. And everyone deserves love. I’ve personally dated
outside of my race. I’ve dated black guys. I’ve dated white guys. And I don’t think
those aspects of them altered what went right or
wrong in our relationships. I think whatever
our disputes were have to do with
the type of person that I am and the
type of person that he was as a person, not as a race. Was it easier or harder
dating inter-racially or not? No, because I think
everything is education. I think, you know, the
main thing is hair. [LAUGHTER] I think first of all, black men
have a problem with learning these things as well. You know, like, you have
to learn that, yea, I have a beautiful wig on right now. But you gonna wake up with
me with a bonnet, right? So– [LAUGHING] [APPLAUSE] Yeah, I mean, I think
all these things are just an educational thing,
whether it be race, whether it be men versus women. Whether it be whatever
it is, all these things just have to do with education. Angelica, how do you think
about interracial dating? I agree that it’s
about the education because I actually was engaged
to be married to a white man, to an Italian man, and we
were together for eight years. And I have not been in
a relationship since. I don’t know if I would actually
date outside my race again. There is only really
one time that I’m against interracial dating,
and that is when you are not allowed to bring your full
self to the relationship, because I was in
the relationship where I did not challenge
my white partner on his anti-blackness. And instead I internalized
the way he looked at the black community too. And so we both were in our
gated community house thinking, this is what, you know, needs
to happen, and blah, blah, blah. When I realized that
this man was not invested in the liberation of
my community nor– in my black community
nor my LGBT community, but that I was passing– so that means that
I’m either going to be with a black man
who also is being educated about his anti-blackness and
about his misogyny and all those things, or I’m going
to be with someone who’s not black, who understands that. Or I’m gonna be by my damn self. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] Now, April, I know– I know you are happily married. But how do you think
about interracial dating? I agree with Winnie. I believe that you should
date who feeds your soul. But who feeds my
soul is a black man. And I want to tell you why. I feel like what I
think about the trauma that black men have gone
through, along with the trauma that a black woman
has gone through, we’re able to heal
each other because we know each other’s pain. We know our ancestors’ pain. Black men need a black woman. And black women need a black
man to help us be better and because– because
we know each other. We need each other
to heal those wounds that were never really treated.

100 Replies to “Black Women Discuss Interracial Dating | Black Women OWN the Conversation | Oprah Winfrey Network”

  1. No Really? I feel a kind of way now because the last person to speak was cut… Smh I was really interested in what she had to say… Hmmm…

  2. 🌻I must say… what an interesting conversation. "My preference has always been for non-black and white men" and no-one has the right to dictate who I love, and who loves me back.🍁🍂🍃

  3. I grew up in a Navy city very multicultural and don’t see interracial dating as a big deal. I’ve never based who I dated on race. If there was a problem the problem was in our personalities. My older cousin is a black woman who been married to a white guy for like 25 or 30 years. I wasn’t taught I should not date someone of a different race.

  4. April Parker Jones is spiritual. I love her. She spoke with profound wisdom and knowledge through her experience and the experience of our ancestors.

  5. I hate how people think “ outside of your race “falls under either black or white . There’s more than just us two . A lot of people are ignorant towards what’s race .

  6. Alright Black men you see this right
    Like i said its not that they wont date outside there race its
    that OTHER RACES OF MEN AINT CHECKING FOR THEM

  7. It's not working black woman, you can't force fat, emotionally damaged women on black men and tell them you're worth it. Black men have the cream of the crop as choices in ALL races, so that's what you have to compete with. Men of other races also want the finest of the fine and most of them consider black women to be lacking in that department. These little 'misery loves company ' panels only serve as shoulders to cry on for women who know that their thirst for authority and domination over their men has permanently devalued them and even caused them to be seen as the ENEMY!

  8. Every other Race Married their OWN- so as Black women what is wrong with marring our own- mixing with other races is not a an answer to anything there are still problems with ir relationships— Big problems like RACE and Culture

  9. Black women date whoever tf you want. Regardless of skin tone. I’m sick and tired of black ppl always policing black women’s dating choices. Most bw are single bc they’re waiting on their black KaNg. Chances are that black KaNg is most likely messing with non black women. It’s so frustrating how black women and girls are brainwashed to remain race loyal while that same energy isn’t kept for bm. 🤦🏾‍♀️. The same men who are known for publicly expressing their disdain for bw while uplifting women that are lighter or damn near white I-

  10. April Parker Jones is a hypocrite. She says and acts like she supports choice and 'what feeds our soul' and biracial dating at first – clapping for what Angelica and Winnie said, and then she laughs at comments like, I can't lay with my oppressors. We need black people to heal each other….but go unhealed and date someone outside your race if you want…with a slight and indignation in her judgmental tone. GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT! I don't care about your opinion APJ. Don't put celebrities on a pedestal. She is NOT a good example of what to look up to. Go look at your parents and those closer to home for examples.

  11. I wish more white guys would approach black women. Get these psycho broads away from black males. Let them take their toxicity over the fence and STAY THERE.👊🏾

  12. dating outside your race if you are considering an African-American which is from the tribe of Israel is a sin to date outside your raceit's in the Bible that's why you don't need to listen to anyone with leprosy leprosy is also a disease

  13. Coming together out of shared pain creates codependence. I don't see that as healthy, nor am I living the unlived lives or pain of my ancestors. Not my job. I am with Winnie, and I empathize with the middle lady, who was with a bigot. I think it's amazing. You're a black woman who loves a bigot. That's complicated on many levels.

  14. A lot of people are talking about date someone who treats you good, it’s not about race. Yet there’s this thing called “preference” and a lot of people prefer European beauty. How is that giving black people a fair chance to love?

  15. Yes sis at the END!!! Sis in the middle was on point. that model chic also hangs with the racist Kardashians so I already have a biased perception towards her

  16. Black men aren't staying true to the concept that they should date within their race because "we can help heal one another." I don't think that black women should date exclusively black men either. We would be selling ourselves short if we did. There are men in other races that can relate to our struggle or history so I don't buy that one. I tell my daughter not limit herself exclusively to dating black men. Its sad to say that there arent many to chose from that arent looking to exclusively date women in other races, ones that aren't gay, on th DL or are "trans-attracted", in jail or not trying to do anything with themselves….and Im not saying that there aren't any straight successful men that like black women because there are some out there….somewhere…with a ring already on their fingers.

  17. The Black radiance of these women is astounding. I clicked expecting to be underwhelmed but their individual stories and views captivated me in just that short space of time.

  18. Most Interracial relationships consist of self hate 🤷🏾‍♂️ Men and Women. The state The world is in. To love the oppressor is some Stockholm syndrome type ish… Unfortunately sisters are drinking the Kool-aid more and more. It's the 60s all over again

  19. My husband is mixed and I would not love him any more or any less because of his race. I get all perspectives and appreciate Black love, especially with 2 black parents who are still married for over 35 yrs, but we just have love, unconditional love and that’s more than enough for me. It’s okay black women to be loyal, but it must go both ways. I had a vision too of marrying a black man, but God said I’ll give you your king 👑 in the way I want to give him to you and I love him. Be open or else wait on a love you may never receive, that’s just reality. What we want may not always be what we need💜It’s okay to have your perspective, but what I like and found that with dating inside and outside of my race is that I had MANY MORE options and opened myself up to a whole new world 🌎 Happily Married Feb 14th 💜💜💜

  20. After reading these reviews it’s utterly sad to me that people still think this way about interracial dating and marriage. It’s like almost 2020, how disturbing. People who speak in the way probably have never experienced true love itself, because real love
    sees no color, it’s just love.

  21. Sorry april but hell no! I'm not about sharing pain and trauma as a foundation and definitely not about entering a relationship broken in that sense. Invest in a therapist and proceed to healing yourself and come to the table whole. Miss me with that…

  22. I'm with you, April!!! Love it! A Black man feeds my soul too! I'm also impressed with Angelica's stance! Sometimes, it's better to be alone than to settle!

  23. The last sister understands and expressed our mutual experiences and NEED for one another as Black men and women best. We should not be competitors nor combatants but complementary pieces FOR one another. The Black woman is created to be our Heaven and our peace and we are created to be hers.

  24. April, April, April you took the words right out of my mouth. I said the same thing yesterday as to why, I usher in love in whatever form it comes in but my preference id for it to be with a black man; for all the reasons you stated. After dating a black man and educating myself on our history our trauma. Although I'm not trying to be any mans saviour (I tried that, for the love of God I ain't Jesus it doesn't work) I understand, and I value that when I look at black man that I love I see God and I see myself. For me that's it. (In case anyone miss interpretates my statement, you can see God in any race of a man).

  25. Black women and men should be together to have black families. Which is exactly what this country tried to stop from happening after slavery because they knew that is how you destroy a community.This country locked up as many black men as it could to destroy the family structure and keep us poor. They knew this would cause problems within the black man and woman relationship with one another. Which would repeat itself down through the next generation and the one after that.

  26. Why would someone not date someone of another race? are people so narrow-minded to not want to date smo with a different skin color? 🤢

  27. when I went to the states As an Australian toursit I wanted to pick up are black girl or women and make out with them I was so upset that I didn't pull it off 😕

  28. Healing to me in regards to another person is our own responsibility. I feel like if I took the time to heal before I got with you then you should do. Black men to heal ALL BY THEY SELF FIRST! I think!😊

  29. Trauma shouldn't be the thing you build the foundation of your relationship on.
    And alot of men aren't willing to heal themselves and expect women to do that emotional labour for them. A lot of women think "if I just love him enough he will change/heal" nope. You will end up drained. Men and women heal yourself before entering a relationship.

  30. The Holy Spirit needs to feed your soul and guide and lead you to the right person. Too many demons in people of all races and genders.

    John 6:35

    “And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”

  31. This is 2019, I'm a single Black woman of 64 an I find that my older black men are so drained of life that it's hard to even engage in a conversation less known a relationship. I was raised by both parents an never went outside my race, but to be honest I'm Scared.

  32. That first question was phrased poorly; especially coming from a man. Should black women…huh? what? Should??!! skuurrr. I'm glad Harlow said it like that. That's a question that deserves a side-eye, imo.

  33. I never dated outside my race but I'm not apposed to it my son in law is white and I sit back and watch them together and they work together cooking or cleaning they compliment each other in life he says nothing about her hair he comes to my house and just fit it so I think as long as you have a understanding and have love for people no matter what race you should be fine. the main thing is not letting others tell you who to be with. my family is full of interacial relationships so we don't care my son in law had two aunts that disowned him so when the Thanksgiving came he told them they were not coming and his parents were so loving they told the aunts to not come lol my son inlaw excepts all of her and as long as his parents and siblings love her the old aunts don't matter lol . as for me I always stayed loyal to black men and it always bit me in the butt so I chose to grow old alone and i'm good.

  34. I’ll be honest, I’m tired of the trauma bond rhetoric. I understand what she’s saying but for one I need us to prevail, not just match up because we are broken.

  35. Notice BLACK WOMEN never talk about the homicide rates..domestic abuse…and HIV rates all contributions made by black men to black women

  36. This world today has us black women, and the only women, man bashing our own. Yea it's some messed up black men out here, but there are also some good ones too. Just like if you DID decide to date another race of man. Most of them wouldn't even look at a black woman twice, but there are a few, that would also treat you like crap, or well , if that's the make up of that man. All we seem to do now is dog each other. We look stupid. Stop it!!!! Yea love who you CHOOSE to love, but you don't have to put black men down to justify your CHOICE, and vice versa.

  37. So much hate and generalization towards black men. These very uneducated women are a good example of you attract people similar to you. If she’s trash she will attract a trash man. Simple ….

  38. BLACK WOMEN ARE WEAK COWARDS THAT ARE EASY MEAT FOR NON BLACKS TO SLEEP WITH THEY HAVE NO BLACK PRIDE!! STRONG BLACK WOMAN IS MADE UP LIE NO SUCH THING!!

  39. If black females continue to ignore facts & evidence, if they persist on not growing up and dealing with reality in a manner that supports the best interests of black people as a nation then leave them alone. Seek functional black women unless you wish to remain a slave; forever subjected to the will of albino/white criminal beasts. Tough love is necessary because these females seem to lack common sense. Alot of these black females don't like or love themselves enough to be pro black or they are tired of waiting on prince charming, whatever the reason it's inexcusable to date non black. Nature designed hue-mans to be black that's why the first people on earth were black with wooly hair…Non blacks including albino/whites are genetic defects of blk ppl so stop allowing them to equate themselves to you by using deceptive and divisive language such as "race". No one said the struggle for black empowerment would be easy. Modern slavery is when white criminals manipulate African Americans into giving them billions of dollars each year in exchange for goods & services when those funds should be used to build us a self sustaining black nation which looks out for our best interests. A Nation where we love ourselves to the utmost degree and the days of being divided have all been but forgotten…..

  40. Love can heal wounds and your soul. True love doesn't see color. I believe as your with someone who excepts you for who you are race included then it's all good.

  41. BLACK MEN HATE BLACK SKIN AND NEGRO FEATURES ON WOMEN. BLACK MEN WANT NON NEGRO CHILDREN AND NON BLACK WIVES!

    TRUTH!!!

  42. I grew up ONLY liking white guys because that’s all I had 🗿 I lived in a 99% white city and went to a school where me and my siblings were Deadass the only black people. Now that I’m meeting more black people, I found myself actually having crushes on black guys 🤣 it was so odd to me and it shouldn’t be because IM BLACK TOO!!! anyways, I still like white guys, I also find Latinos cute. I’d date any guy I like, but when it comes to marriage and settling down, I need a black guy ☠️ I can’t take the weight of interracial marriage and I also want my kids to look like me with nice huge Afros that I can style

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