Can My Tampon Get Lost Inside Me? – Your Worst Fears Confirmed


Can a tampon get lost
inside you? 100%; and here’s how. A tampon is inserted
in a woman’s vaginal canal, which starts at the flesh
curtains, ring the doorbell,
ends at the cervix. Tampons average about
1.5 centimeters in width, while a cervical opening
is just .3 centimeters. Therefore,
gynecologists say tampons can’t get lost in your body. But are you really gonna
to trust gynecologists? If they had nothing to hide,
they wouldn’t be so weirded out when you ask them to wear
a tiny mirror on their forehead, during your pelvic exam. Let’s say you buy tampons;
small ones, because of your light flow. They’re so small, you keep them
in your jeans’ tampon pocket. That’s what it’s for;
100% confirmed. You throw your jeans
in the wash. They’re a little baggy ’cause
you got them at a thrift store; you’re a fiend for deals.
You select the hot water cycle because you know
cotton shrinks in heat. And it works. The jeans come out
two sizes smaller; as does the cotton tampon
you left in the pocket. Next time
you’re in the bathroom, you don’t even notice
the tampon is doll-sized because you’re too busy
scrolling on your phone. No shame. 75% of the population
uses social media while on the toilet. That’s why all those likes
come in right after lunchtime. So you pop it in
without inspection, and the tiny tamp slides
up your coochie snorcher, slinks through
the vaginal canal, and slides right through
your cervical opening; into your gut
and wraps around your kidney. There’s no way you’re pulling
it out in five to eight hours because your tampon
just got lost inside you. Let’s say you never
shrink your tampons. In fact, you buy
the largest size ’cause you have
an extra heavy flow. Respect.
If you were born in 1700 B.C., they would’ve
worshiped you in Crete. But now, you buy super-plus. They’re expensive
but you can afford it. You work at a start-up.
The hours are long, but the salary is great,
and they provide lunch. Today is eggplant parm.
You never had it before. You give it a try
and it’s delicious. You love its hearty taste,
it’s creamy texture. What you shouldn’t love
is the fact that eggplant is
full of prostaglandin, a hormone used to dilate
the cervix during labor. And you’ve just licked clean, three plate fulls
of prostaglandin. You put in your super-plus
tampon and it’s like 4:00 AM
at the Golden Gate Bridge. They’re letting
all the ships through. It glides through your cervix, into your stomach
and up to your heart. You should send a search party
for that super-plus because your tampon
is now lost inside you. Let’s say you’re incredibly
careful about what you eat. In fact, you’re a bit
of a health freak, which is why you only
use organic tampons made from 100%
biodegradable hemp. Normally, it takes 450 years
for hemp to fully biodegrade, but you’ve been
drinking kombucha; wonderful for your digestion.
Really helps break things down. You like it so much,
you decide to brew your own. You find the yeast
and mix it with bacteria, watch it grown into SCOBY. A proud mom,
you delicately transport the SCOBY to the brew jar; getting the enzymes
and bacteria on your fingers. Fingers,
which you don’t wash. Most soap kills
healthy bacteria. Fingers with you now use
to push in your organic tampon. As your tampon dives in,
the kombucha gets to work; degrading the tampon
inside the biome that is your vaginal canal. Sucking it through the vaginal
lining and into your blood. Next time you stick
your fingers to pull it out, you’ll find nothing because your tampon
has disappeared inside you. Let’s say you don’t use tampons.
You use a menstrual cup and there is no way that sucker
is getting lost inside you. And what’s great
is unlike tampons, you can leave it in for up
to 12 hours, which is important ’cause you’re climbing the Zion
Narrows in Zion National Park, a 12-hour grueling hike. You don’t stop to check
your menstrual cup. Why would you?
It’s good for 12 hours, which means you don’t realize when your cup
starts to overflow. The blood spills over
the sides of your cup and loosens the suction
holding it to your vaginal wall. The slippery, foldable silicone
is sucked up your cervix like salmon
during mating season; through your belly
and into your back. You can toast
your menstrual cup goodbye ’cause it just swam up
inside you. Let’s say you don’t use
any period protection. You’re a free bleeder. You bleed through
all your pants, which is great in theory,
but terrible in practice. You keep having to buy
a new couch, and it’s stressing You out.
You develop a hernia. You don’t have time
to go to the doctor, you’re spending all
your time doing laundry. You start sleepwalking;
common side effect of stress. One night, unbeknownst to you,
you sleep walk to the bathroom, get a tampon
from the medicine cabinet. Your mom keeps
putting them there because she thinks
what you’re doing is unladylike. Shouldn’t be a problem, you’ll see the tampon
string in the morning, except, your hernia
is a pelvic hernia, which means it’s pressing
against your cervix, causing it to open up
to 4 centimeters, plenty wide
to fit your tampon, which glides
through your cervix, up your throat
and into your head. You’re going to have a headache
for the rest of your life because your mom’s tampon
just got lost inside you. Let’s say you don’t
have your period ’cause you’ve reached menopause.
You’re retired. You spend your days
in your Malibu dream home, but you’re bored.
You start shopping online. See an advertisement
for Yoni Eggs. They’re stones that promise
energy and friendship. All you have to do
is put them up your vagina. You buy all three colors. But when they arrive, they look
different than the image online. That’s because
at the sorting facility, your package got switched. As a final F-you to the
tyrannical warehouse boss, the worker sent all the packages
to the wrong locations. So your parcel accidentally
got sent to an 8-year-old boy in Florida,
and you get his Mancala Stones. You notice they don’t look like
what you ordered, but all the product reviews
are glowing. So you pop one in. This wouldn’t be an issue
except your cervical lining has thinned as a result
of menopause, which means the stone,
or tampon, if you’re a woman
from the Middle Ages… They put rocks
and frogs up there. It was a real,
“We’ll try anything,” time. So that sleek, stringless,
medieval tampon slides up your vaginal canal, right through your loosened
cervix, and into your butt. This piece of history
is now lost inside you. So yes, your tampon
can get lost inside you and travel
anywhere in your body. It’s just a matter
of when and how. I’m expert Natasha Veinblood
and my flow is torrential. You have two kidneys, right? Yeah.
Okay.

77 Replies to “Can My Tampon Get Lost Inside Me? – Your Worst Fears Confirmed”

  1. It cant be lost inside you. Your uterine lining is literally a dead end. Its 100% impossible. This video is created for comedy only.

  2. I thought this was about to turn into a blood cup advert, but thanks for saying they are also horrible. Bc they are awful blood gushers.

  3. I want a video with Natasha explaining to Kevin Hart or Dave Chappelle how a tampon gets lost inside you cuz I know I'll be in tears hyperventilating 😂. Make it speaker of the house style with a filibuster and questions only being taken at the end so we can watch their giving up the ghost reactions

  4. To my knowledge, the only lie in this entire video is when she said the startup you work at is paying you a high salary.

  5. Please change ur channel name which will make ur video valid because adding comedy in chanels name people might think its just for fun

  6. God, all of these comments are like "I love this video" but all of the comments on the announcement for this were incels taking this seriously

  7. By the time you said "Into your gut and inside your kidney" i knew yall were pulling my leg. 🤣🤣🤣

    Anyone with knowledge of basic biology knows that your vagina ain't connected to your kidney.

  8. "Let's say you don't have your period…."

    I was waiting for her to say "because you're on the Depo Birth Control Injection." 😊

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