Metal Gear Dies


Holy shit! This game is bad. Metal Gear Solid is probably the most consistent video game series. Period. Metal Gear 1 – sneaking around snowy Shadow Moses… Number 2 – you have the tanker. You have the Dr. Octopus as the president and that apeshit ending. Snake Eater – the jungle setting. You have the relationship between Big Boss and his mentor. Metal Gear 4 is incredibly bold just for trying
to make sense out of the previous games and Metal Gear 5 with its refreshing focus on freedom of gameplay. Each game is an artistic and technical achievement and a unique experience of their own. So, right on the heels of Phantom Pain selling 6,000,000 copies, Konami cancels Hideo Kojima’s next project, the highly anticipated Silent Hills, whose demo set the Internet on fire, then Konami fires him from the company and disallows him to receive an award for Metal Gear 5. [Geoff Keighley] Mr. Kojima had every intention of being with us tonight, uhh… But, unfortunately, he was informed by a lawyer representing Konami, just recently, that, uhh… he would not be allowed to travel to tonight’s award ceremony to accept any awards. [booing in background] [Dunkey] This situation really hit home with me because during this, my mom and my aunt were
going through the exact same thing. Both of them dedicated their lives to their jobs and after years and years of putting up with dumbass shit and working past the clock, the second they got a little fed up with the system, BOOM! Fired. So, how does Konami redeem itself? METAL GEAR ZOMBIES, DUDE! RIGHT?! EH HEH HEH HEH HEH! Everybody loves zombies! …8 fucking years ago… Nobody wanted this game. This is like if Nintendo fired Miyamoto and then announced the next Mario game is a M-rated dating sim coming out exclusively for the fucking Virtual Boy. Even if this game turned out great, fans would hate it but it didn’t turn out great. It’s not even mediocre. This game is Ultra Ultra Mega Ultra Mega Ass! Konami has successfully nosedive this franchise into a fucking mountain. This Kojima-less era of Metal Gear is over before it even began. I figured “Okay, they got the Fox Engine.” “How bad could the game be?” “Just slap a new map on there, call it Metal Gear 6,” “make it an annual franchise like Assassin’s Creed.” Nope, too much work! Here, have a game where you hit zombies with a stick. Have fun, dickface! Every aspect of the game is designed to be as tedious as humanly possible. You’re constantly walking around this huge,
empty map, looking for food and water. Then when you finally find some, Oh, you thought you could just eat it there? No, you got to walk back to the base for that except your guy can’t even run for two seconds without running out of stamina be- because… it- NRRRGH The entire map is enveloped in fog so you can never tell where you are or where you’re going. Even the waypoints will stop working when you’re in the fog. Anytime you find something that looks remotely interesting, the moment is always cut shor- Sweet! Now I don’t have to walk back to the base for 20 min- -ep. Okay… Oh god, why did I… Yup. And there goes my entire inventory. The combat is stiff and joyless and your character is just pathetic. It takes him an hour to swing a baseball bat and he dies in 2 hits. Unlike Metal Gear 5, where one mission could play out in 50 different ways, every mission here plays out in one way: Put down a fence and hit zombies with a stick until you win. Every single time. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* This man’s mind…. has been torn in two. *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* ♪ Street Fighter – Guile’s Theme ♪ *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* Metal Gear Survive is a chore to play. It’s not only a slap in the face to Kojima but a failure on its own terms. This shit is worse than Mass Effect Andromeda. *poke* [Outro]
♪ “Old Snake” from the Metal Gear 4 OST ♪

100 Replies to “Metal Gear Dies”

  1. "We got Fox Engine, Snake/Big Boss asset let's do a Metal Gear MSX remake"
    "Konami : nope take this shit instead"

  2. Ill never understand konami, pt set the world on fire, everybody was playing and talking about pt, they were gonna make a huge success, yet they cancel it and fire its creator?.. sounds like some old corporate were upset.

  3. metal gear solid never really knew what it wanted to be since the second if I'm not mistaken the series lost its focus and with matrix style moves and shit and reducing the stealth elements the closest it ever go to a stealth game was mgs 1

  4. “This Kojima-less era of Metal Gear was over before it even began.”

    *Flashbacks to Metal Gear 2: Snake’s Revenge*

  5. Hey, guys, you too think that Konami fired Kojima because the man is fucking insane and needs to stop making unplayable stealth garbage?

  6. MGSV:
    You have the following tactics…

    Ghosting (No kill no detection)
    Assassination (Eliminate all, no detection)
    Basic Stealth (Do objective, no detection)
    Plan B (stealth to loud)
    Cat and Mouse (Detection and flanks)
    Basic assault (Loud)
    Sniper Team 6 (Ranged assault)
    Total assault (Call in Peaquot and raze the place)
    Box assault (As seen in video)
    Decoy (Closest attempt to shadow jutsu, as seen in video)
    The Fist (As seen in video)
    Etc

    MGS Survive
    You have the following tactic…
    Stick and fence (That's it)

  7. Jontron: This is like when Nintendo came out with teaser for Mario 64 but you got Mario City Simulator

    Dunkey: This is like when Nintendo fired Miyamoto and then announced M-rated dating sim for the fucking virtual boy

  8. Brah donkey your right mate if they made this Franchise like Assassins creed it would done really I bet lol. Your so correct on that lol.

  9. what if….. the firing of kojima…. was the plan all along? They never had any intention to make a silent hill game. They just want kojima to move up the recognition ladder globally, just so they can have the money and fame…… to make an new game……… that will control the minds of countless players, and start another ww3, but this time, the Japanese will be dropping fat tits on other countries! It all makes sense now!

  10. If the next Mario game was an "M" rated dating sim for the virtual boy, I would buy a virtual boy. I'm dead ass serious.

  11. So mgs the phantom pain sold 6 million copies so 60 times 6 million is 360,000,000 bucks. and for survive japan sold 30 thousand. europe 28,578. the uk 6,173. 4,352 in germany and 4,991 units in france put that all together ( I can't find the US sales even though I know it probably didn't sell well. ) so the total of copies sold in those regions 75,094 copies. so in total since they didn't give us the final fucking number this game made 4,505,640 bucks. Yeah fuck this game the fucking pussies couldn't even nut up and give the final numbers cause they knew it fucking sucked

  12. I tried to come back to this game a year later. I gave it a shot and sort of enjoyed it for a while, but then I wanted to start again. What happened instead?
    – They make it unnecessarily impossible to switch a character even if you wanted to
    — You still need to buy a character slot
    – Even if you made a new character, apparently you keep every single recipe your other characters have so you can’t even actually start a new game FROM SCRATCH unless you play the game on a different account entirely.
    – If you want to start a new game without shelling out $10, you delete your character and make a new one in its place. Even then, you still start off with all your known blueprints.

    Game’s even worse when you want to start from scratch, assuming you want to in the first place.
    I can’t fucking believe I preordered this cancer. I’m not even allowed to start over again from absolute zero even if I spend more money.

  13. All Metal Gears were Directed by Kojami, they were all amazing. Then they decided to Steve Jobs his ass now I feel like my childhood is ruined because Konami is such a piece of shit company now

  14. I showed my brother this vid because he was going to buy it but he just figured that donky was a die-hard fan and was lame and so on he bought the game and he playd for an hour and he said it sucks

  15. who the fuck working at the magic the gathering company thought the ideal ad campaign in 2019 is a commercial in the style of 2008 newgrounds and youtube flash animation lol

  16. I stopped watching when he said, “Holy shit this game is bad,” so biased and nitpicking

    9.5/10 sorta had a bit of everything

  17. konami fired kojima because "they" knew people would pick up on the subtle shit kojima was inputting into his games to warn people of how the real world works…. its legit illuminati shit. like i feel like kojima has been telling us warnings throughout all of his games.

  18. You know what? I do feel somewhat better Konami 'killing' the franchise once and for all with this utter rubbish instead of mass-producing zombie-ass sequels every year like Assassin's Creed. It is painful, but at least it is only one time.

  19. MGS4 sucked because of multiple 90+ minute cut-scenes. MGSV sucked because the game world was virtually empty and the story was left unfinished. NOT TO MENTION MGS3 was remastered on fox engine for fucking PACHINKO MACHINES.

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