Stephen Talks To A Bill (Yes, The Healthcare One)


PEOPLE ARE STILL ANGRY ABOUT THE
HEALTH CARE BILL THAT CONGRESS PASSED LAST THURSDAY.>>Audience: BOO! YOU’RE A LITTLE LATE, BUT THANK
YOU. AND TRUMP KNOWS WHY:
“WOW, THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA DID EVERYTHING IN ITS POWER TO MAKE
THE REPUBLICAN HEALTH CARE VICTORY LOOK AS BAD AS POSSIBLE. FAR BETTER THAN OCARE!”
“OCARE,” OF COURSE, IS AN ABBREVIATION FOR THE WORDS
“OBAMA” AND “CARES IF YOU DIE.” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) AND HOUSE REPUBLICANS– YAY! YAY! WE’RE GONNA DIE! AND HOUSE REPUBLICANS ARE TAKING
HEAT, LIKE IDAHO CONGRESSMAN AND HISPANIC DILBERT, RAUL LABRADOR.>>YOU’RE MANDATING PEOPLE ON
MEDICAID ACCEPT DYING. YOU ARE MAKING A MANDATE–
>>NO ONE WANTS ANYBODY TO DIE. YOU KNOW, THAT LINE IS SO
INDEFENSIBLE. NOBODY DIES BECAUSE THEY
DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE. ( CROWD BOOS )
>>Stephen: HE’S RIGHT. HE’S RIGHT. THEY DIE FROM SAYING THINGS LIKE
THAT TO AN ANGRY MOB WITH NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE. ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )
>>Jon: YOU CAN’T SAY THAT.>>Stephen: THAT IS BALLSY. LABRADOR DEFENDED HIS REMARKS,
SAYING, “DURING TEN HOURS OF TOWN HALLS, ONE OF MY ANSWERS
ABOUT HEALTH CARE WASN’T VERY ELEGANT.” OH, THE PROBLEM ISN’T “WHAT” HE
SAID. IT’S THAT IT WASN’T SAID
ELEGANTLY. LET ME TRY FOR JUST A SECOND. LET ME TRY. UH-HUH HELP UH-HUH. UH-HUH. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )
THIS REALLY MESSES WITH YOUR DEPTH PERCEPTION. ( LAUGHTER )
HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. NOBODY DIES BECAUSE THEY DON’T
HAVE ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE. ( LAUGHTER )
ELEGANT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LOOK WHERE I LIT IT. LOOK WHERE I LIT IT. THERE YOU GO. THAT IS SOME– THAT IS SOME GOOD
FILTER. ( LAUGHTER )
ANOTHER DEFENDER OF THE BILL WAS DIRECTOR OF THE OFFICE OF
MANAGEMENT AND BUDGET AND MAN ASKING GOD TO STRIKE HIM DOWN
NOW, MICK MULVANEY. THIS SUNDAY, HE TOLD CBS’S JOHN
DICKERSON WHY WE SHOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT THE NEW HEALTH CARE BILL.>>THE BILL THAT PASSED OUT OF
THE HOUSE IS MOST LIKELY NOT GOING TO BE THE BILL THAT IS PUT
IN FRONT OF THE PRESIDENT.>>SO THE PRESIDENT KEPT SAYING
THIS IS A GREAT BILL AND IT’S A GOOD BILL BUT IT’S INCOMPLETE
ISIA WHATYOU’RE SAYING.>>WE REMEMBER SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, I’M A BILL, YES A BILL, BUT IT’S GOING TO GO
THROUGH THAT PROCESS.>>Stephen: OOD IT’S JUST LIKE
SCHOOL HOUSE ROCKS. HERE TO RESPOND FROM THE CAPITOL
STEPS, PLEASE WELCOME HEALTH CARE BILL. BILL, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.>>THANKS FOR HAVING ME,
STEPHEN.>>Stephen: BILL LET ME JUST
ASK YOU SOMETHING– ♪ I’M JUST A BILL, YES I’M ONLY
A BILL. ♪ AND I’M SITTING HERE ON
CAPITOL HILL ♪>>Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.>>THAT’S MY SONG?>>I KNOW IT’S YOUR SONG, BILL. IT’S HOW YOU’RE KNOWN. BUT DO YOU AGREE WITH MICK
MULVANEY THAT ARE YOU NOT YET IN YOUR FINAL FORM?>>THAT’S RIGHT, STEPHEN. THE HOUSE MAY HAVE PASSED ME,
BUT NOW I GO TO THE SENATE, AND THE WHOLE THING STARTS ALL OVER
AGAIN. IT’S A LONG JOURNEY, BUT I CAN’T
WAIT TO BE A LAW!>>Stephen: BILL, YOU SHOULD
KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE YOU.>>THEY DON’T? BUT, STEPHEN–
♪ I’M JUST A BILL YES I’M ONLY A BILL
♪ AND I’M SITTING HERE –>>Stephen: WE KNOW. LISTEN.>>OH, THAT’S RIGHT, WE
ESTABLISHED THAT.>>Stephen: NOW, BILL, I HAVE
TO ASK– HAVE YOU EVEN READ YOURSELF?>>WELL, NO,
I THOUGHT THE CONGRESS WOULD READ ME.>>Stephen: THEY DIDN’T, BILL,
AND IF YOU BECOME LAW, 24 MILLION PEOPLE COULD LOSE THEIR
HEALTH INSURANCE.>>WHAT? THAT’S TERRIBLE. WELL, AT LEAST I COVER
PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS.>>Stephen: NO, YOU DON’T DO
THAT, EITHER.>>MY GOD, I’M A MONSTER. WHO CREATED ME?>>Stephen: BILL, I DON’T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT DONALD TRUMP… IS YOUR FATHER.>>NO! THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: READ YOURSELF, BILL. READ YOURSELF, BILL. YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.>>NOOOOOOOOOOOO!>>Stephen: CALM DOWN, BILL,
CALM DOWN. IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.>>NO, I HAVE TO BE STOPPED. IF NO ONE ELSE WILL DO IT, I’LL
VETO MYSELF!>>Stephen: NO, BILL! NO, BILL, DON’T!>>AAARRGGHHH!>>Stephen: OH, MY GOD. HE’S– HE’S DEAD.>>NO, I’M NOT. THEY MADE COPIES. WE’RE ALL SCREWED!>>Stephen: HEALTH CARE BILL,
EVERYBODY. WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. MY GUESTS ARE JON STEWART, JOHN
OLIVER, SAM BEE, ROB CORDDRY, AND ED HELMS! STICK AROUND.

100 Replies to “Stephen Talks To A Bill (Yes, The Healthcare One)”

  1. do you think Bernie Sanders could slip single payer medicare for all in to the cover of that bill when the Senate is not looking and the Senate and trump will sign it without reading it? because obamacare sucks compared to what most modern nations have and trumpcare sucks compared to obamacare

  2. The irony of making fun of a bill that "wasn't read" as opposed to repealing one that also "hasn't been read". The complexity of this joke is astounding!

  3. people die it happens. people do not die because they don't have health care people die because you do not take care of themselves. have you ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath that's the emergency room. now if you don't take care of yourself and live the life that you feels okay it is not up to me or anyone else to get you healthy again to do the same thing over again. it's already on record that they do not give Hearts to someone who drinks or smokes that will never change. please stop making assumptions that he's killing Healthcare he's actually making it right we can make it right by taking away the borderlines and stopping the Monopoly and states that Donald Trump wants to do he wants to make it national not state by state. by saying that everyone deserves it because they're a douche and want to kill themselves with drugs not alcohol does not make it right. and yes some people are poor and have children that need it there are already subsidies and Charities that take care of that why should a working person take care of your children when you can't. no one lives forever we all have grief and we all have sympathy but you cannot put it on the shoulders everyone who does not know you. remember Obama did not go through the proper channels it was an executive order no one voted it just happened and damn near destroyed this country

  4. you actually die because being sick or shot etc. being covered or not is not the cause of dead. of course having health care can prevent you from dying but that's a different matter

  5. The most surprising fact about Trumpcare is not how many millions of people it screws over, but that the republicans would know enough common sense to make copies. XD

  6. That Labrador Doodle will be the first round go. Did you see the 2-3 spare tires he carries around his waistline, we'll heart disease is knocking

  7. Mr O from Ocare is betting his pre-presidential Bribes in speeches, I mean just in Milan he netted 1.4 Million, not sure he cares about "his" bill, only that he will be paid handsomely for his legislation

  8. Couldn't they have gotten the original voice actor for The Bill or at least someone who sounds like him for this skit?

  9. From UK, was on anti anxiety medication for a few months, cost is £8.50 (about $14) for a months course of meds. What's it like in the U.S?

  10. Bill: "I'm a monster who created me?"
    Colbert: "Bill I don't know how to tell you this but Donald Trump, is your father."
    Bill: NoooOoOoOO! That's not true! That's impossible!,. LMAO

  11. "Nobody dies because they don't have access to healthcare" Fucking wow. I guess you don't need healthcare, huh?

  12. Anybody else always annoyed when Stephen makes fun of his audience for applauding a joke he made? Its so condescending.

  13. Stephen with a monocle and cigarette looks like an anorexic Oswald Cobblepot (The Penguin) from Batman.

  14. This monologue with the cartoon reminds me of the Black Mirror episode "The Waldo Moment". Kinda scary how things turn out and how real that show is becoming.

  15. So is going to be a recurring joke: they bring back the School House Rock Bill just to kill him off every time? If so I'm ok with it but it could be a funny yet slightly depressing joke.

  16. I wonder if I'm cover if I nearly die from too much laughter from great guys like Steven Trevor and Seth.

  17. oh republicans, they don't give a care about anyone except them selves. bet they would let us hard working people just die so they could make more money.

  18. So Trump is Healthcare Bill's father?  Seems Colbert forgot to mention to "Healthcare Bill" that Obama is his grandfather!!!!  Thanks O'asshole bama!!!

  19. Oh My God, that guy is an insult to labradors. He should change his surname. Even labradors care more about people than he does.

  20. Ah yes, I remember School House Rock…
    The Government is becoming more like a three-ring circus by the day.

  21. My gf rеaаallууyу lovеs this film. Weeее fоund full moviе hereeе => https://twitter.com/b9673508732f7f9d2/status/858503971941396481

  22. trump is a psychopath like there are all over the world..
    nothing exceptional.

    what IS remarkable, is the large number of fools who voted for the man.
    gotta be veeeery dumb to fall for the trump-gang.

  23. At 1:49 The Bach Fugue in E minor from Well-Tempered Clavier Book 1. What an elegant choice, John Baptiste!!🎹👏👍

  24. now thats quality television
    a sentient bill(named bill of course ) being put in a state of existencial turmoil at the start of the show

  25. school house rock nostalgia put me in a state of eating ice cream and watching every single song from the album.

  26. Okay, admit it, how many of us of Schoolhouse Rock's generation started singing along to "I'm just a bill, …". 😁

  27. I thought republicans want to focus on "taking care of our own before taking care of others". so why don't they want to help their own?

  28. I love that woman's sign in the first clip: Trumpcare=just die and decrease the surplus population. Kudos to anyone who can guess the reference.

  29. 1:02–1:06 that man is so lucky to be alive for saying that. That crowd could've easily killed him.

  30. Myyy gf really loves this film. We found full moоvie herе => https://twitter.com/b9673508732f7f9d2/status/858503971941396481

  31. Yeah, kinda like when Stephen made a homophobic joke about Trump and Putin, then apologized for crude language instead.

  32. "Nobody dies because they don't have access to healthcare." Yes — yes, that's exactly how people die! lmao. The delusion of some people, man

  33. So what's up with the DNC lawsuit? I know, it's a bit boring since it's all about actual corruption.. #whocaresright?!

  34. Any of the current news articles on the Republican Party could literally be placed into 1984 and nobody could tell the difference.
    (I mean 1984 as in the book by George Orwell)

  35. Its true that a bunch of sick things are hurting innocent people because they have nothing to lose. Are you denying that's true?

  36. Its true that sick things are hurting innocent people because they have nothing to lose. Besides, I think they're sick because they're rapists, evil, greedy, cruel, enslavers, and life devourers, and child stealers. Are you saying that's not true?

  37. "I hate to tell you this, but Donald Trump is your father."

    That's what Don Jr tells Eric every day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *