The GOP Celebrates Its One-Third Of A Healthcare Victory


WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW. WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW. I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY STAR WARS
SHALL STAR WARS DAY, EVERYBODY, MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU. ALSO I THINK THE REPUBLICANS MAY
HAVE FOURTHED YOU OFF YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE BECAUSE THE
HOUSE VOTED TO REPEAL AND REPLACE OBAMACARE JUST A FEW
HOURS AGO. FOR MORE LET’S GO TO OUR
CONGRESSIONAL– NO, I KNOW THE FEELING. LET’S GO TO OUR CONGRESSIONAL
REPORTER BEN. BEN, WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE?>>AS IF MILLIONS OF VOICES
SUDDENLY CRIED OUT IN TERROR.>>Stephen: THANKS, BEN. NOW, HE’S A GOOD KID. NOW WHEN THEY TRIED TO PASS THIS
KIND OF BILL BACK IN MARCH MODERATE REPUBLICANS THOUGHT
THAT IT WAS TOO HARSH. WHILE CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS
THOUGHT IT WAS TOO SOFT. THE ONLY PERSON WHO THOUGHT ITS
WITH JUST RIGHT WAS OREGON CONGRESSWOMAN GOLDI LOCKS. SHE WAS INTO IT AT FIRST BUT
EVENTUALLY VOTED FOR THE BILL AFTER THEY PROMISED HER $8
BILLION IN PORRIDGE SUBSIDIES. UNDER OBAMACARE INSURERS WERE
FORCED TO COVER CERTAIN ESSENTIAL HEALTH BENEFITS LIKE
MATERNITY CARE, EMERGENCY SERVICES AN PREVENTIVE SERVICES
BUT THIS NEW BILL ALLOWS STATES TO WAIVE THE BENEFIT RULES AND
SET UP THEIR OWN STANDARDS. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE PEOPLE GET
SICK DIFFERENTLY IN DIFFERENT STATES. IN CALIFORNIA YOU COULD BE
SUFFERING FROM HELLA FOOT PAIN, BRAH. WHEREAS IN MASSACHUSETTS, IT IS
WICKED BAD GOUT IN YOUR RED SA-WX. THAT IS A PERFECT BOSTON ACCENT. MERYL STREEP. (APPLAUSE)
ABSOLUTELY. OF COURSE THE BIG QUESTION IS
WHETHER THE NEW PLAN WILL COVER PREEXISTING CONDITIONS. AND THE ANSWER IS A DEF NO. CUZ THE BILL HAS AN AMENDMENT
THAT ALLOWS STATES TO OPT OUT. OPTING OUT. VERY POPULAR PROVISION WITH MANY
OF THE STATES WHO ALREADY FLY THE TRADITIONAL OPT OUT FLAG. AND THE TERM, YES, I AGREE. AND I’M FROM THERE. AND OF COURSE IT WOULDN’T BE A
REPUBLICAN BILL IF DIDN’T INCLUDE TAX CUTS. OBAMACARE WAS PAID FOR LARGELY
WITH A TAX INCREASE ON THE RICHEST AMERICANS. THE NEW BILL WOULD CUT TAXES FOR
THE WEALTHY UP TO $883 BILLION. NOW LISTEN, IF HEARING THAT
RAISES YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE, CALM DOWN, YOU CAN’T AFFORD THE
MEDICATION ANY MORE. BUT IF ALL OF THIS SEEMS
EXTREME, DON’T WORRY. SOME MEMBERS OF CONGRESS ARE
TELLING JOURNALISTS THAT THE BILL’S CONTROVERSIAL PROVISIONS
AREN’T A BUG DEAL BECAUSE QUOTE NO STATE WOULD BE CRAZY ENOUGH
TO ACTUALLY ASK FOR THEM. HAVE YOU MET FLORIDA? RIGHT THERE ON THEIR STATE SEAL,
CRAZY ENOUGH. SO THEY DID IT. OBAMACARE IS FINALLY, OFFICIALLY
DEAD IS SOMETHING THEY HE CAN SAY ONCE THE BILL GOES TO THE
SENATE THEN GETS OUT OF COMMITTEE, IS DEBATED ON THE
FLOOR WHERE AMENDMENTS CAN BE ADDED THEN THE SENATE VOTES ON
THEIR BILL WHICH IS SENT TO CONFERENCE COMMITTEE WHERE THE
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO BILLS ARE IRONED OUT THEN VOTED
ON IN THE HOUSE AND SENATE AGAIN THEN SENT TO THE WHITE HOUSE FOR
THE PRESIDENT TO SIGN. WHICH IS WHY REPUBLICANS WERE
CHANTING, WE’RE NUMBER ONE-THIRD OF THE WAY THROUGH A VERY
COMPLEX PROCESS. (APPLAUSE).>>Stephen: ALL THAT IS TRUE
BUT IT DID NOT STOP REPUBLICANS FROM THROWING A MASSIVE BEER
BASH. AND IT WASN’T JUST BEER, NO, I
MEAN THEY HAVEN’T ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING YET BUT IT WASN’T JUST
BEER. THEY ALSO SERVED UNHATCHED
CHICKENS, THERE WAS SO MUCH FOOD THEY HAD TO BRING IN A CART
BEFORE A HORSE IT WAS VERY LEVLY. AFTER THE VOTE, IT IT TOOK
AWHILE FOR THE METAPHOR TO CATCH ON IN THE ROOM BUT THEY GOT
THERE EVENTUALLY. AFTER THE VOTE, ONE REPORTER RAN
INTO REINCE PRIEBUS WHO TOLD HER, THE PRESIDENT STEPPED UP
AND HELPED PUNT THE BALL INTO THE END ZONE. YES, A PUNT INTO THE END ZONE. ACCURATE BECAUSE IT GETS YOU
ZERO POINTS AND GIVES YOUR OPPONENT GOOD FIELD POSITION. (APPLAUSE)
PUNTA WAY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.>>Jon: I GOT YOU.>>Stephen: I THINK A MORE
ACCURATE FOOTBALL METAPHOR MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE GOP JUST KICKED
AMERICA IN THE BALLS. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
PIANO HAND. RIGHT AFTER THE VOTE THE
REPUBLICANS WENT OVER TO THE WHITE HOUSE WHERE DONALD TRUMP
SPOKE ABOUT THE BILL IN FRONT OF THE NATION’S STRATEGIC WHITE GUY
RESERVES. AND HE WANTED TO BE VERY CLEAR
ABOUT WHAT THIS IS.>>THIS IS, MAKE NO MISTAKE,
THIS IS A REPEAL AND A REPLACE OF OBAMACARE, MAKE NO MISTAKE
ABOUT IT. MAKE NO MISTAKE. TZ YES, MAKE NO MISTAKE. WE’VE ALREADY MADE ENOUGH FOR
TODAY. ALL THE MISTAKES ARE TAKEN. AND TRUMP DID HAVE A VERY
IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR THE ASSEMBLED. HOW AM I DOING? AM I DOING OKAY, I’M PRESIDENT,
HEY, I’M PRESIDENT, CAN YOU BELIEVE T RIGHT? TZ NO, WE STILL CAN’T. IT’S JUST–
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SWRZ HERE I STAND WITH PI BACK
AGAINST THE WALL.>>Stephen: AND TRUMP WALKED
ABOUT– TALKED ABOUT EVERYONE WHO CAME TOGETHER TO PASS THIS
BILL.>>WE HAVE THE TUESDAY GROUP, WE
HAVE SO MANY GROUPS. THE WE HAVE THE FREEDOM CAUCUS,
WE HAVE– AND THEY’RE ALL GREAT PEOPLE. WE HAVE A LOT OF GROUPS TZ YEAH,
A LOT OF GROUPS. THE GUYS WHO WEAR STRIPE TIE,
THE GUYS WHO WEAR SOLID TIE, THE BALD GUY, NOT BALD GUYS, VERY
DIVERSE COALITION. AND OF COURSE THERE WAS HIGH
PRAISE FOR THE PRESIDENT FROM HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER KEVIN
McCARTHY.>>I’VE ONLY BEEN THROUGH A FEW
PRESIDENTS BUT I’VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO HANDS ON TZ NEITHER
HAVE WE. HE’S HANDS ON. ESPECIALLY HEALTH CARE. HE’S ALREADY VOLUNTEERED TO DO
ALL THE MAMMOGRAMS. BUT BASED ON A TRUE STORY, THAT
JOKE. BUT IF YOU LOSE YOUR HEALTH
CARE, REMEMBER LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE. UNTIL YESTERDAY WHEN A JURY
CONVICTED A WOMAN WHO LAUGHED AT JEFF SESSIONS. SEE TRUMP’S AMERICA ISN’T SO BAD
IT’S JIS THAT LAUGHTER IS NOW A CRIME. THE WOMAN DESIREE FAIROOZ WAS
CONVICTED OF DISRUPTING SESSIONS CONFIRMATION HEARINGS WHEN
ALABAMA SENATOR RICHARD SHELBY SAID THIS.>>BUT IN REALITY, JEFF SESSIONS
EXTENSIVE RECORD OF TREATING ALL AMERICANS EQUALLY UNDER THE LAW
IS CLEAR AND WELL-DOCUMENTED. TZ OH! OH, YOU JUST GOT BUSTED. FOR FIRST DEGREE CHUCKLING WITH
INTENT TO TITTER. NOW FAIROOZ DEFENDED HERSELF
SAYING HER LAUGHTER WAS A REFLEX. I UNDERSTAND THAT. I MEAN IT’S LIKE MY GAG REFLEX
EVERY TIME I SAY PRESIDENT– TRUMP. (APPLAUSE)
NOW THIS IS TRUE, FAIROOZ COULD FACE UP TO A YEAR IN PRISON,
OKAY. THAT IS HARSH. SHE COULD END UP JOINING A GANG,
OR WORSE AN IMPROV TROUPE. WE NOW LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE
LAUGHING AT JEFF SESSIONS IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE. SO FOR YOUR OWN– YOUR OWN
SAFETY, PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH AT HOW MUCH JEFF SESSIONS LOOKED
LIKE MY WRITER MIKE’S BRAND NEW BABY. (LAUGHTER)
YOU’RE ALL GOING TO JAIL. YOU’RE ALL GOING TO JAIL.

100 Replies to “The GOP Celebrates Its One-Third Of A Healthcare Victory”

  1. The irony of the US is that dumb f&@ks who voted for trump is the segment of the population who believes in the biblical apocalypse…

  2. Doesn't anyone else feel that this crap Trump and the GOP are pulling feels more like an oppressive oligarchy instead of a democracy? Like a bunch of old white men who can't stand criticism somehow got the reigns to power and they're just saying and living out their weird fetishes now in the real world. I mean, can't laugh at politicians…? The last time I heard that shit, it was in some 3rd world country with some crazy ass dictator.

  3. SC proves hes running out of material….bleeding the liberal Russia hysteria dry….what an intolerant asss

  4. I wonder if there are ignorant people who voted against their needs in the election and are about to lose their healthcare, and in the best scenario get in debts because they were too racists to resist voting for a wall to block Mexicans and a Muslim ban, that both won't happen. But your Obamacare that's keeping you safe will be over. So good choice, you really showed immigrants and refugees how bad you are. Or Mexico is going to pay your bills.

  5. Since you don't have a National Health Service in the US (like us socialist/communist states like Canada/Europe), wouldn't it be a good idea to have your politicians enjoying the worst healthcare there is in the country ?

  6. It took Obama 14 months to come out with a healthcare plan that would have collapse on itself… You demtards are proud of that? 23 million Americans with no healthcare, and if you have healthcare you can't use it because the deductible is so high! and you crazy brainless fucks want to keep it?…

  7. I hereby cast The Late Show a challenge: as long as Mrs. Desiree Fairooz remains in prision, Stephen Colbert will tell a joke about Jeff Sessions, so for a whole year, or as long as this lady stays in jail, Sessions is to be mocked and ridiculed in a much worse level. An everyday "crime" in honor of a person who just couldn't help herself on expressing her opinion.

  8. Dtrumpf is Hitler reincarnated, sending millions to purging concentration camps with their stupid healthcare. Republicans need to be ousted ASAP…vote DEMOCRAT.

  9. I like all these Canadians and Euro-Trashers in the comments:

    You can sit here and comment about how awful the U.S. is, but we're one radical candidate away from electing someone who will level your country. That's not even the slightest of jokes; America has gotten pretty radical in its political views and we're a market crash away from electing Huey Long or Adolf Hitler. You ride on the back of our defense budget now, but when push comes to shove, we'll be using it against you.

    So laugh it up with your shity 40,000 personnel army with lunch bag budgets. No matter how bad our domestic problems are, we could enslave your people in a matter of days. Lmao.

  10. My only remaining hope is that the poor losers that voted for Trump out of a mixture of idiocy and racism die because of their lack of access to healthcare in time for the next election.

  11. I'm part of the Republican/Conservative resistance…I never watch Colbert, or Whoopi, or Maher..they are crude and not funny….I repeat not funny!

  12. It's funny because all these republican dicks get free healthcare on the tax-payer dime. Which they refuse to pay

  13. A woman laughs at a man and goes to jail. A man harasses a woman and becomes president. Wtg 'Merica.

  14. Well at least the states retain their power. That's part of the checks and balances, otherwise the govt would have too much power over people.

  15. Hahahahhahaha Trump really got under this guys skin.
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  16. β€œComing from a different world and only being a politician for a short period of time β€” How am I doing? Am I doing okay? I’m president! Hey! I’m president! Can you believe it, right?”
    (Donald Trump)
    AKA… Orange Julius Cesar.

  17. for the love of god, can someone on the show's staff please change the end photo, stephen looks like my mom in 2007

  18. Congratulations, working class Trump voters. Here is how he keeps his promise to protect you. Hope that kool-aid he served you was worth it.

  19. why don't the American people insist Republicans have the same health care they are deep throating down everybody mouths

  20. Why vote for those who will hurt you? Republicans exist to serve the rich and to trample the brainwashed poor. Maybe an IQ test for voters?

  21. All these old white religious men are a fraud and embarrassment! This is disgusting. I can't even hear about these assholes anymore. It's sick to see a small number of old white men, who likely had a hand in destroying the planet, all be in the WH making policies that hurt women. This really is like the 50s.

  22. I see the GOP is getting crazier day by day. At least get ur sports metaphors right. Oh, and if you have no sense of humor yourself, don't punish someone else for having it.

  23. Of cause Trump hates the media. Everyone who have different opinions are evil, they should be poised and burned. Heil Trump! This ugly idiotic jerk.

  24. Would someone kindly tell me how many people who worked on the healthcare bill are considered mathematician?

  25. I am so sick of this dick. Peace of shit would not have any rating if it wasn't for president Trump. Fuck him someone needs to drill that liberal scum in his fucking head.

  26. I predict that Colbert will be replaced in 90 days…the clapping machine is being used more and more ? Its already happening as we speak …trust me I have met the powers that be and it is coming down ….Peace

  27. hey I skipped your last video
    cause its stupid to pretend you know what god would say

    plz don't do stupid stuff like that cause your videos are great other wise

  28. +Trump is jealous of Obama. I think it is just an ego trip..If he really cared about the people, he would leave Obama Care alone. But it seems he just wants to replace what is Obama's with what is his (ego reasons)and territorial reeasons..stupid..I am glad Steven can laugh about it..because it is really depressing

  29. FUK this wanna be comedian.. Deport all the liberal hysterical socialist douchbags.. gtfo out of my country

  30. Our president is a lying sack of sheet! He is also the most prolific liar I've ever known of. That these assholes got together to celebrate the harm they are trying to do to the American people with a impromptu party is obscene! I know Americans tend to have short memories regarding the sins of their elected representatives but I pray you not forget the ones this congress has committed. From Neil Gorsuch to their AHCA and everything in between, they should be made to pay dearly. And Wisconsin, can we please end Paul Ryan's career?

  31. what business cuts its main source of income when its facing bankruptcy? republicans want to get rid of all public programs and bankrupt the government so they can be kings here.

  32. Do you guys remember the last time the wage gap was this huge? The roaring 20's. Which is great, because if there's one thing the 20's I remember, is how the 30's looked in contrast

  33. I am so happy to be not a American and be not a victim of this piece of shit in the White House and his suppository Paul Ryan.

    They are monsters with the blackest hearts that a human can have.

    I feel so sad for all honest Americans …

  34. Land of the free MY ASS!!!
    In my country I can legally call my president a son of a bitch, to his face!

    By the way, she really end up in jail?

  35. 5:50 – "So many people to thank! The guys in the white hoods- they know who they are; >wink< the guys in the back with the confederate caps, overalls and pitchforks; the men with greasy hair and blood stains on their wife beater shirts; and the guys in blackface and robes who lynched that black fellow outside-great people!"

  36. oops sorry, i involuntarily laughed when it said she'd face 'up to a year in prison'. wait…im canadian. nevermind hahahahahaha

  37. As a white American male who hates bias, and respects our constitution I can not accept trump as president. I might have opinions here, and there that might be hypocrisy, but when the people who are the ones aboves all others fail to properly uphold the law, and disregard the constitution, and their ethics then they have no business calling themselves the proper authorities, and give rise to anarchy, and tyranny, and while I despise bias I respect, and love diversity, and with that I can not ever knowingly respect trump, or any of his supporters, or this mockery of America that is being created by this traitorous government. The whole lot of them should be strung, and quartered for treason because they are all allowing this to continue unimpeded. To convict her for laughter at something obviously absurd when it wasn't even disruptive, and therefore not in contempt of court is the very definition of tyranny, and this government of ours can no longer be trusted with our safety. Not when they put their own selfishness above that of the people they are supposed to be serving. We elected them to be our voices instead they are merely acting as russian tools, and tools to all those who oppose freedom. It took nearly 200 years to get our society constitutionally right where everyone truly can enjoy freedom, provided they didn't breaka law, and then this trump cunt comes along, and starts setting us back nearly 200 years worth of progress in barely 3 years. This is not a government for the people any longer this is a puppet government for enemies of freedom, of justice, and of diversity.

  38. If you thought the middle east was filled with people chanting "Death to America" than it would seem you haven't paid attention to our president, and his treasonous supporters they cry it in different words, but the meaning is the same because they support anarchy, and dictatorships, and they want to sit there, and criticize others for mob mentality for believing in the majority vote? Too bad they don't understand the difference between majority, and mob. See a majority is higher percentage of a collective where as a mob is a bunch of angry people screaming, and chanting with torches, and pitchforks needing to be rounded up, and arrested. Mob is also another name for a gang, or specifically the mafia, and mob is what our idiot puppet elect is turning America into. President trump ruining nearly 200 plus years of progress in under 3 years tops, and single handedly upsetting the entire planet in less.

  39. When you support tyranny you support the death of freedom, and when you vote trump, and friends you vote for the death of America. Research from every angle, and if you are going to vote with biased hearts don't vote. Vote with an open mind, and a clear heart, or you might doom us all again. We need all parties to properly functin the way our country is supposed to, and to prevent the single minded strangle hold like what is already in place. Place an even amount of votes, and know your facts. Vote for people who will put all Americans first, and be considerate to their rivals interests as well. The president is supposed to bring us together, instead trump has us divided. He was supposed to support us, and be our voice instead he supported putin, and voiced against our evidence supported allegations, and blamed us. He was supposed to defend us,and our allies instead he defends tyranny, naziism, and putin. He's dishonest, egotistical to an extreme, and obsessive, and hateful. Trump must be brought to justice, and if there are congressmen/women/other out there reading these comments know that you are traitors as well if you continue to put your own preservation before serving this country like you were elected to do, and those who have families you are knowingly endangering your family by continuing this farce, and this disgusting mockery of our country, and should be ashamed of yourselves.

  40. Classic! Your delivery was superb. The baby that looks like Sessions is thinking…am I going to one of Santa's elves too???

  41. We are the ONLY technological nation that has done without a universal health care plan for decades, and when they finally got one, the private sector was still heavily in charge, but at least people could GET insurance. Now the Rs are taking the whole thing away.

    In other, more advanced countries, (like Mexico) universal health care, once instituted, has never had to fight for its own existence. Only in America. Wonder why?

    Follow the money, so you can follow the corruption.

    And yes, I did say Mexico. I've been in their plan for over 20 years, paying into it so if anything happened that my private physician couldn't treat, or that I couldn't afford, I'd have IMSS to fall back on. Well, it paid off last month, bigtime, I was hospitalized for emphysema and thrombosis (clots) in my legs. I'm dying, but when I was discharged, I didn't even have to open my purse. I got a month's worth of medications, and oxygen cylinders are delivered as I need them. Refills will come when the IMSS doctor visits me in a week or two. ALL PAID FOR. I got a CAT scan – which, if I remember one I paid for years ago, runs about $800 in the States (probably much more now).

    So even though I am dying, I will not be denied the health care I need.

    I don't think any American is as well off as I am, unless they're rich enough to pay anything out of pocket. That includes VERY few Americans. If you could get all under Medicare, it would be like my IMSS. And they can't revoke it, ever.

    There is only ONE reason we haven't had a program under Medicare like my IMSS – REPUBLICANS. 70 years ago, they fought the establishment of Social Security and have never stopped thrashing at it. What good can they hope to do for the country by taking away SS? Yet they still try, just as they still try to eliminate Medicare.

    Mexico has some corrupt politicians, but I don't think even the worst of them would even THINK of canceling IMSS. How can even one of our OWN voters support the kind of bastards in our politics who want to hurt us bad – even mortally bad? Who'd vote for them? Only the brainwashed. But it seems we have millions of those.

    I hope someone is working on a way to reverse-brainwash these millions of mentally crippled people. The whole GOP is a criminal organization – a political mafia. It should be entirely disbanded. EVERY Republican holding office today is a criminal – it's become a prerequisite for entry into the party nowadays. We must investigate every single Republican office holder and convict them by the hundreds. Just unseating this present regime won't be enough. The brainwashed, and the GOP will still be around to try electing another fascist state. They must be stopped – cold. It's a necessity for our democracy, one that can never be debated in a bipartisan manner. Our problem today really IS a black or white issue: either you're for democracy or you support fascism. Negotiations are no longer possible.

  42. Are they trying to make hating immigrants, attacking LGBTQ people, exploiting the country & killing African-Americans our new national pastime or something?

  43. Is TRUMP the SUPREME VAMPIRE ?
    It seems HE empowers the naive & the blood-thirsty.
    How much must we suffer?

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